Have you ever felt you have no control of your life? That what you do next is actually not up to you? Have you ever felt like you just did something that you didn't actually want to do, and then wonder to yourself...so, why did I do it? Lately I have had all these thoughts rushing through my head like a snort of coccaine. I feel like my actions dont match my emotions and it is starting to really terrify me. I am noticing a sense of no control.
My name is Tommy Vercetti and I live in Vice City. I dont know how long I have been living here, I dont know my birth date, I dont even know my Goddamn age! What do I know? Thats a good question, a question that comes with a large wave of anxiety for me, like a panic attack, the same feeling I get when I feel I have killed the wrong person. I begin to wonder to myself sometimes, why dont I know anything about my past? About my up bringing?... Am I normal? I dont think so... but then I dont know who or what is normal around here, around Vice City.
I might start by talking a little bit about my day to day life, and whoever reads this can decide for themselves just how messed up I really am. Basically, what do I not do in a average day? Well if your thinking about the innocent picnic with the family or a walk on the beach I probably have never done anything like that in my entire life! But, if you are thinking along the lines of a pyschotic killer with seriously no hesitation when it comes to pulling the trigger on a person just walking by...then there is probably nothing you can even imagine that I have never done. I live my life by walking around the streets of Vice City with not much of a list of goals for the day unless I start on some sort of mission assigned to me by one of the local gang members. When there is no mission/goal to complete then I simply cause havoc! I steal cars, beat up prostitutes for their money, even occasionaly pay them for sex if I have enough cash on me, I kill for the sake of...what? No idea! I do massive stunts in different vehicles that I get my mits on and occasionally just occasionally I dont have a police man on my tail trying to bust me for anything or everything of what I have just said....So yeah I guess you think my life is quite messed up, yeah? I mean, I dont actually see anyone else behaving like myself. Am I a complete psycho? Am I totally mental?...The weird thing is, I dont think I am. I really dont think that I am the one to blame for all this havoc, I dont think I am actually the one who is causing this havoc. What does that say? Maybe I am totally crazy, or maybe I really am not in control of my actions. But, then who is??
These thoughts I am having are no less than symptoms of schizophrenia if not complete psycosis to the average person. But that is not enough to make me consider 'snapping out of it'. I will not let this suspicion I have just fade away and continue living my life the way I have been. I have too much pride for that, too much pride. Pride is probably the second biggest reason I have these suspicions, these suspicions of not being in control of my own actions. Lets go back to my first murder. It was 5:20pm and I was meant to be catching a taxi to see one of my friends just out of town. But things dont always go to plan as I have learnt as my body sometimes has a plan of its own. I stepped towards an old man and after him asking me to get out of his way kindly I punched him in the head until he fell on the ground. Next thing I have a baseball bat in my grips and I am bashing the poor mans head against the pavement with blood staining the street. After the attack I jumped into a police car that had just stopped at my attention and with bullets firing from two cops in my direction I pointed the car at them and accelerated over their bodies, killing them instantly. God knows how I escaped that crime without being arrested and God knows how I am expected to forget those horrendouse actions of mine on that day. I will forever feel as sick as I do right now when I think about those poor innocent people.
So, back to my point..If it wasnt for my pride then I wouldn't have this conscence haunting me 24/7...Anyone would assume that if someone is forever feeling guilty about their murders amongst other crimes then they wouldn't continue to committ hundreds more within the next few hours now would they?
Now...I am going to tell you the main reason. The main reason I think someone else is CONTOLLING ME!!!!SOMEONE ELSE!! This is how I origianlly found out I cant even move left when I want to move left, jump when I want to jump, or FRICKEN SHIT when I want to SHIT!!..........I CAAANT KILL MYSELF! It is physically impossible for me to put a gun to my head and blow my brains out, but it is as easy as ...one...two...BANG to splatter someone elses! I have been trying for the last 2 years to do it and NO not even a scratch on my bare skin! What is going on!!?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? please! pleeease help me! I dont want to do this anymore! I dont want to be a menace to society! I am sick to death of people dieing at the tips of my fingers. IT MAKES ME SICK!
So why on earth cant I do it? The one thing I want to do the most in this world is save this world from my insanity and when I realised that meant killing myself I went for it but I just cant do it!...I KNOW SOMEONE IS controlling me! I KNOW IT! I dont know how....but I bloody well know!....
And when I find out who it is controlling me, yes I said WHEN, not a bloody pussy 'IF'! When I find this person I will torture and kill that mongrel if its the last thing I do! I will never give up! I will never surrender! I will find control!
Please feel free to brutally dis my story guys! All feedback is good feedback! So fire away..
ReplyDeleteThis is cool; the first person narration ties right in with it being a video-game fanfic, as game-narratives nearly always couple you, the player, with a distinctive protagonist having a back-story and moral dilemma all their own. Instantly, the insinuated delirium and possible amnesia of your charater is enveloping, piques a readers interest as questions instantly arise as to who, what, and especially why. I'm totally uninitiated as far as the Vice-City game's concerned, but I've seen The Truman Show, and I must say your crossover will be an innovation indeed. Keep writing, and some back-story (just a smidgeon) would be nice; who is Vercetti?
ReplyDeleteHmmm background, lol I was trying to avoid that haha. But yeah I think all the game tells you about Vercetti is that he has just come out of prison and been assigned to live in Vice City to try and start a peaceful life...so maybe I can add that in and work off that? But then I dont know what the game says he was in jail for?? Any ideas?
ReplyDeleteThanks though!
I would say charge him with anything but peadophilia, because then he couldn't be your good guy. Having said that, better cross murder and manslaughter off your list; a drug bust is pretty socially accetable. Lord knows I have friends who've paid the price, and they're lovely people!
ReplyDeleteRE background, I think you're right about the possibiltiy being there of overdoing it; i've potentially just done so with my fanfic. However if you were building Vercetti up to one sort of 'punch-line' case of decision making, then you could make it all back story while intermittently weaving in your immediate story, and have a really cool unified effect by mashing up the chronology. Just an idea, feel free to discard it.
Thanks for the tip on having a socially acceptable criminal history. As yeah he is meant to be a good person under it all. But then again, murder is something he commits everyday. Suppose I could ironically just convict him with GTA as this is the name of the game, haha.
ReplyDeleteI always loved the GTA games and Vice city was probably my favourite. Like Sam said games with a main protagonist have a back story and Vice City isn't much different but in essence it revolves around pretty much what's in the story, stealing cars and murdering whores. The dilemma does come in with a background story but the character is already unsure about who he is so the future would seem the ideal place to take this story. Jail life? I always thought GTA in a prison would be pretty ultimate.
ReplyDeleteI really like your claustrophobic, ''puppet realises he is a puppet' fanfic.The marriage of GTA and the Truman show is an excellent idea. Perhaps string out Tommy's growing awareness of being a puppet just a teeny bit more? I think that would make Tommy's realisation seem more natural and create a greater sense of claustrophobia in the story.
ReplyDeletePersonally I like the fact that your fanfiction doesn't include too much of a backstory,just what gamers familiar with GTA would deduce for themselves.This sense of disorientation allows for greater character developement,in terms of Tommy's journey towards self-realisation.Stringing in subtle hints of Tommy's past that Tommy either remembers or deduces however, would be very effective!
I think you're onto a great story:)
wow, your story's almost like a commentary on gaming culture itself; are you admonishing legions of gamers against the evils of indulging that side of themselves that likes to 'murder whores', even if only in cyber-space? And I like your image of Vercetti looking ponderously out over the balcony wondering just who it is pulling his strings, with us, the humble gamer, right behind him in another world doing exactly that.
ReplyDeleteHey DK,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I would like to say that I think your story is so creative! I love how you didnt do the typical movie/book fanfiction but instead you used a game... which btw is one of my favorites! Also I think you should actually continue writing... I actually felt like I wanted to read more and find out what happens next!
I really like your ending to the story ,although I do agree with Wasen that I would like to continue reading and find out what actually happens. Perhaps that's the beauty of your fanfic,you leave the reader hungry for more. Additionally considering the word limit constraints I feel you've wrapped up the fanfic rather well.
ReplyDeleteImaginative right… I love how Tommy’s ignorance of what’s going on make him so cute, yeah cute, “when I find out who it is controlling me, yes I said WHEN, not a bloody pussy 'IF'! When I find this person I will torture and kill that mongrel” hahaha awww… make me want to help him and explain everything to him… its good right? I would like to see his face when he finds out the truth.. How would he react? It would be interesting to see. I'm a fan now :)
ReplyDelete